He is Patient

We were driving back from having spent the day swimming with the family. We were all tired and resting in the car while Jef drove us home. Radio was off and we were enjoying the quiet. Suddenly I hear His voice so clearly in my heart saying “I’M not slow”.  I knew that I didn't say that to myself but it sounded as if I had.  In my defense I said “I didn’t say anything, Lord”. It was as if I had accused Him of being slow and He came back and said that.  I kept thinking about it, and to be honest it really bothered me.  I wrote it in my journal when we got home but deep down I was hoping it was a word for someone else.

After wrestling with my inner thoughts, I realized that He was speaking to me and that my heart was the one that accused Him of being slow. I searched the scriptures and found that He spoke to me straight from His Word.

2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

I've heard this and read it before but this day I knew that God really knows the heart. Psalm 44:21 For He knows the secrets of the heart

My prayer is that I will believe what He says in His word with every part of me and not be divided to say one thing and believe another.  I don’t want to be singing about how faithful He is and yet my heart says, He's really slow. 

Forgive me...Psalm 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Lord, we thank You that You are Faithful and patient with us. That You know and still care about the hidden secrets in our hearts and what we believe about You.  Keep us in Your mercy and in Your grace.  In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Gateway People

Genesis 28:10-17 Now Jacob went out from Beersheba and went toward Haran. So he came to a certain place and stayed there all night, because the sun had set. And he took one of the stones of that place and put it at his head, and he lay down in that place to sleep. Then he dreamed, and behold, a ladder was set up on the earth, and its top reached to heaven; and there the angels of God were ascending and descending on it.  Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, “Surely the LORD is in this place, and I did not know it.” And he was afraid and said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven!”

The truth is that I am fascinated by gates. I love double gates! While in Egypt September of 2009, I had friends take pictures of me standing by them. The older the better. I like how I feel when I go through them. I have access or a right. I know the code or I am known. I have one in my house to go from my front driveway to the back garage. I love pushing the button commanding it to open or to close it. It’s one of the little things in life that bring a smile to my face. My church is also Gateway church. The name also came from this very same scripture in Genesis. They seem to follow me or I follow them.

I had a strange dream a few weeks ago; very different from Jacob’s to say the least.

I had arrived with a group of people to a place of rest. Like an oasis in the middle of the dessert. It was located in the middle of people’s journey as a temptation to stop and relax for a while. A “transitional place” before you continue on. But I happened to come in through the back of this place and saw dead bodies with missing heads hanging on a motorized hanging clothes line. The people walking in had no idea what they would walk into but were so happy to be there. Smiles everywhere, place was packed and the line to get in was long. We immediately began to try and find a way to leave this place and we did. In the dream I knew that only those that were with me were the ones able to escape because there was no way anyone would believe even if we told them. They didn’t see what we saw.

What I have now realized, as I’ve asked the Lord for a revelation of this dream is that the people are all asked to stop and “rest” into a way of thinking that would eventually lead to their death. We need to see, have new revelation, a new way of thinking. A new transformed mind to escape “the way that seems right to a man, but it leads to death” Proverbs 16:25

If I hadn’t come through the back, and had not seen what the outcome would be, I too would have died along with those that were with me.

A gate is a place of transition and access. Just like our driveway to the backyard.
The Word says in Matthew 7:13 “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it.

In my dream, there were more that were entering this place than the ones that were escaping it, just as His word says.

Romans 12:2 "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."

The good news is that a renewed mind sees the way God sees. We all need the Lord to show us the back way, the new revelation to expand our capacity to see life from His perspective or we perish. 

In Psalms 32:8 "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye."I believe this promise in His Word explains how He will guide us.  He will guide us by showing us what He sees. 

Hosea 4:6 "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge."

Ephesians 1:17 "I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you may know Him better." (NIV)

The mind is the gatekeeper of the kingdom of God. It is the place of access, transition, and power.

Matthew 16:23 "But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.”

The gates of hell are also in our minds any time we agree with the enemy too. We empower him and become a gate to release his power to kill, steal, and destroy.

We have to separate our thoughts to learn to distinguish good from evil in our minds. To reject whatever this world throws at us and agree with what’s already in heaven. To not look at the enemy long enough to be impressed by him or agree with him and react in fear but to stay focused and respond in faith to God’s Word and agree with Him. To wake up from our sleep or our places of “rest” or complacency, because everyone is going that way.

We all need an awakening from Jesus. To realize like Jacob that we are the “houses of God”, the Gates of heaven.

O Lord, I pray for us to learn to be Gateway people that agree with heaven all the time, to let our minds be the gates of heaven where angels ascend and descend freely on assignments from God. To reject agreeing with the enemy allowing him access and come into agreement with the Father for the release of blessings fulfilling our destiny of being the houses of God here on earth. The gates of heaven!
In Jesus’ name, Amen!

Coffee And The Word

Song Of Solomon 2:13 Rise up, my love, my fair one, And come away!

I set my alarm and got up early to spend some time in the Word. I had a hot cup of coffee in hand and sat there in the quiet waiting for Him.   I have to admit that waiting on the Lord in silence is hard for me and often get impatient if I know He's there but choosing not to speak.  This time I wanted to press into His Presence but found myself with lots of wandering thoughts about my day's obligations, appointments, work, etc.  So I started to get frustrated at my mind being so crowded with everything else but the Lord.  I prayed and asked the Lord to meet me here, because I had gotten up before my house to meet with Him.

Very quickly in my busy mind it's like I saw myself going to Starbucks to meet the Lord there. When I arrived, the coffe house was packed with people and the line was super long. I looked around for a while and got frustrated with the crowd.  I started to think that He's not there or that since He's late we won't get a table.  So I called His cell phone, "where are You? are you on Your way?, and He says to me "look around the corner, I am already here".  I looked around the corner and I saw Him sitting at a table saving a chair for me and my coffe already in hand. He had arrived early and was not late at all, but was there waiting for me.

Tears flooded my eyes as I thought that He wanted to show me that He's always ready to meet with me.  He goes before me and reserves the spot.  That in the frustration of my busy mind, even if it looks like a bad busy day at Starbucks, I don't allow my mind to begin to wonder if He's even there.  He's always there and He never left.  Hebrews 13:5 For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Psalm 37:4 As I delight myself in Him, He gives me the desires of my heart.  He didn't sleep in or forget to set His alarm.  And He's definitely not late.  His Word says in Psalm 121:3-4 that He who watches over you won't get tired, In fact, He who watches over Israel won't get tired or go to sleep.
Matthew 6:6 But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place;

Lord, I thank You because You are always ready to meet with us. Help us to be still and to know You in the secret place.  In Jesus' name. Amen!

Psalm 143:8 Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning,For in You do I trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, For I lift up my soul to You.

Which Way Lord?

But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26


We had moved into our new home a good distance away from our church. We knew it was time to find a new one that was closer. We thought this would benefit our boys with making friends at school that they would also know from church. So we began the lonely journey of attending different churches in our area. We quickly realized that we were not in agreement and very much divided in our opinions and desires. We did not want to make the decision based on the friends we had in each of the churches we visited. We knew God had a specific place for us. Weeks turned into months while we looked for our Church. Jef and I would often talk about the teachings we heard through the radio ministries. For over 10 years we had listened to Pastor Jack Hayford, from the Church On The Way, in California . We love Jack’s heart and trusted the Lord in him. We do see him as one of our Pastors.

In my frustration one morning as I prayed to the Lord for guidance, I remember saying, “Lord, if Jack Hayford would tell us which church in the area he’d recommend, we would go without questioning it at all. Jef and I would be in agreement. The drive would not matter, we’d trust You in him to guide us.”

A month or two later I got a phone call from my Dad, who also works in the ministry, and was working a Pastor’s conference out of town. He says, “Marie, I know that you and Jef love Pastor Jack Hayford and I’ve gotten to meet him at the conference. I will be spending some time with him this evening, is there anything you want me to ask him for you? “I did not know what to say but managed to tell my Dad to ask him about a church in the Dallas/Fort Worth area that he would recommend for us to go to. Dad said he would ask him and try to call me later that evening . Jef and I were so excited that we both waited anxiously for Dad’s phone call. When the phone rang I quickly picked up the phone and Dad says “Hold on, here he is”. Pastor Jack gets on the phone and says “Hi Maty, it’s a pleasure to speak with you, is your husband also there? Is he able to pick up the other line? Jef quickly picked up the phone and then he says, Are you both there? We said “yes we are”. He began to tell us about Pastor Robert Morris from Gateway Church and how much he loved him and how he recommends this church for us, but not sure where we live. He prayed for us and blessed us and then my Dad got back on the phone. “Okay Jef and Marie, I love you guys and will talk to you later”.

We were speechless. Pastor Jack had no idea we had been attending Gateway as one of our possible churches to join and much less, that it was 10 minutes from our house. The Lord quickly showed me that “Nothing is impossible for Him”. We felt such a kiss from our heavenly Father .

We joined the church that following Sunday with not only peace and joy but with a testimony of His goodness.

Isaiah 30:21 Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “ This is the way, walk in it," Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left.



Lord we praise You for the all knowing, all powerful God that You are. We believe that You care about the details of our lives and that there is a specific purpose to each step that we take. We thank You for the good plans You have for us and for pointing us in the right Way. In Jesus name, Amen!

My Story

Psalm 18:16 “He delivered me because He delighted in me”

On February 1, 2005 I was having my quiet time and was reading in Matthew 20:29-34 about two blind men that had heard about Jesus and the miracles He had done, and now they hear that the same “Jesus is passing by” them. The Word says that the blind men began to shout to Jesus saying Have mercy on us, O Lord, Son of David!” Then the multitude warned them that they should be quiet; but they cried out all the more, saying, “Have mercy on us, O Lord, Son of David!”


So Jesus stood still and called them, and said, “What do you want Me to do for you?”
They said to Him, “Lord, that our eyes may be opened.” So Jesus had compassion and touched their eyes. And immediately their eyes received sight, and they followed Him.

This Word went into my spirit and felt as if the Lord Himself stood still and asked me the same question that He asked the blind men, “what do you want Me to do for you?” I realized that I too needed to confess my blindness and need of Him. I began to feel His love for me like a rushing River. There was so much truth revealed in that moment.  I thought I always knew Him until this moment came. He opened my eyes so that I could see His love but also what was in my heart.

Luke 16:15…but God knows your heart.

I felt sick at what I saw. I began to ask Him questions like, How could I? Why? How?

Romans 2:4 The goodness of God leads you to repentance.

I repented before the Lord and sobbed. That day I asked the Lord two specific questions.

Why was I like that? And, What did You do to me?

I now had a new hunger and a thirst for Him that jolted me out of bed at 5am and sought Him with my whole heart. I began to read the Bible and book after book about spiritual growth and had never finished a book before in my life. I had not considered myself “a reader”. The Bible was like my food and I would take in His every Word and promise as if it was written just for me. I began to journal as if the pages of this journal were my own heart I was writing on. I felt that I had wasted too much time and desperately needed to catch up.

One day as we worshiped with our congregation at the church, I saw a quick vision of a huge pile of dirt with a bulldozer parked right by it. I knew this was a picture of my heart but praised the Lord because the cleanup had begun! I leaned over to Jef and told him what I felt the Lord had showed me. Just like the prodigal son, I had returned but had the stench that had to be washed off of me.

That same week, I was reading Jack Hayford’s book, Spirit Formed Life, I read “…so wait while heaven’s bulldozers are at work, and find that the mountain is disappearing a truckload at a time!

Then over time the Lord started to answer my two specific questions.

Why was I like that?

I remember waking up one morning and recalling the dream that I had the night before where a Dr. had just diagnosed me with cancer, but the Dr. said that this cancer was not treated with chemotherapy but would be treated differently.

I woke up scared and told Jef about the dream and we prayed together. A few weeks later, I was reading a book by Tony Evans titled Basic Principles, and as I was turning the page, my spirit within me began to rejoice without my flesh knowing what my spirit was excited about. This was different and the first time I had ever experienced this. So I turned the page and there it was,

“the carnal Christian is like a cancer that eventually kills. A blockage of unconfessed sins. Carnality is a fleshy lifestyle, a spiritual state in which a believer knowingly, intentionally, and persistently lives to please and serve self rather than God. Repentance functions like radical surgery to remove the cancerous growth so that spiritual health can be regained and fellowship with the Father restored.”

My answer to my one of my questions was no longer a secret but knew exactly what went wrong. God was pleased to answer me.

Jeremiah 33:3 Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things which you do not know

What did You do to me?

It was exactly one year and a half later in one of our services. Pastor Morris’s message included this scripture and the words jumped from the pages straight into my heart, as if He came down held my face in His hands and spoke to me. I could not stop the flood of tears as I read them, knowing He was answering my last question.

Ezekiel 36:25-29 “I will gather you, Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh . I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them. Then you shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers; you shall be My people, and I will be your God. I will deliver you from all your uncleanness. Then you will remember your evil ways and your deeds that were not good; and you will loathe yourselves in your own sight, for your iniquities and your abominations”.

I Thank You Lord for saving me and giving me a new heart to love You with. Delivering me out of death and darkness. I pray that Your glory will shine through and into the hearts of those You call Your own. I pray for all who read about what You did for me to have real revelation encounters with You so that they not only hear of You but now they see You for themselves as You open their eyes .In Jesus name, Amen!

“It Is Finished!"

“It Is Finished" John 19:30

Jesus finished the complete work on the cross. He finished His assignment to abandon all to come and fulfill His Father’s plan of redemption for all His creation.

It was what I needed to read this particular day, some time ago.  Out of all the scriptures that I could have read, this went straight to my spirit and my situation as an arrow to a target.  It was the answer to my prayer after 3 years of praying for a change in my job.  It was one of those jobs that from the moment you start working there, you know that you’re only passing through, but not really sure how long the Lord had for me to be there.  The Lord had made it clear for me that this is where I needed to be.  There was a lot of spiritual growth during this time and I saw God answer prayers in marvelous ways, but it was a struggle to be there every day.  I knew that I was in transition and change is a very emotional thing to go through.  I remember my prayer to the Lord, to please not allow me to be there one more day past the day He had preordained for me to be there or one day before.  I wanted to finish this assignment and all that He had for me to do there or get from there.  The time came for me to know in my heart that it was near the end,  but nothing was happening in the natural.  I called my Dad on the phone for wisdom and immediately I began to cry.  I really wanted him to confirm to me that he too felt it was time but it’s not exactly how it went.  He said “You are emotional and hurt about this, which is very fleshy, so take some time to pray and seek the Lord so that you can have peace about it, then you move”.  I did not want to hear those words and almost got offended because I thought I knew.  I submitted to the Lord speaking through my Dad that day, and decided not to trust my emotions.  The next day I declared a fast and sought the Lord.  I knew that my flesh needed to get out of the way and I needed to hear my marching orders if indeed this was the right time to quit this job.  I did not want to miss this.

The Lord began to take me to a passage in the Bible where three men were about to be thrown in the fire.  In Daniel 3:13-29 Mishack, Shadrack and AbedNego stood firm against king Nebuchadnezzar and said “We have no need to answer you in this matter. If that is the case our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us from your hand O’ king. But if not, let it be known to you, O king, that we do not serve your gods, nor will we worship the gold image which you have set up”.

These men were facing death and proud to stand so firm, that they would not bow down to another god but the One true God.  I too faced the end of a journey but was not trusting Him.  I certainly did not have room in my heart to say those words, “but if not".   I had made up my mind and needed to hear about this very specific situation but He wanted to talk to me about my heart.   As He started to show me all that was hidden deep within me, I began to cry and repent.  My unbelief was uncovered.  I felt like I heard “it’s not how we start the race, but how we finish the race that matters most”

Ecclesiastes 7:8 The end of a matter is better than its beginning


I was tired and emotional, and of course, I could not hear my marching orders even if they were loud and clear. My emotions were TOO LOUD. I felt like I was being cleansed and began to receive His peace about where I needed to be. My heart’s attitude needed to be able to say along with the three men, God will deliver me “but if not”, I still will not bow to my flesh or my plans or my expectations or my own will for my life. I trust and my times are in His hands.

The next morning I woke up early to have my quiet time with the Lord.  I was confident that I was able to keep the faith and endure the race this time.  Suddenly, the Word that I read in my devotional for the day was John 19:30 “It is finished”.  There it was! Tears filled my eyes because I knew the Lord had given this word to me to let me know my time was done.  The waiting was over.  This scripture marked the spot and I was there.  Finished!  His love and His grace poured into my heart and all I knew was that He brought me to the finish line and in a way that I could see it.   

I have continued to experience transition in my life since, and have often referred back to this “water well” where the Lord met me, to drink from again and again.

My prayer is that we hear our marching orders from Him. That the Lord will open our spiritual eyes to see and to know the time and the place in the secret place with Him, so that when we get there in the natural, we know this is the way. That His peace will rule over our emotions during times of transition for His Word says in Psalm 29:3-4 The Lord thunders above the mighty sea, which to me is my emotions or the loud and difficult place.  That we trust Him to give us His direction when we need it and for His peace to help us stand firm when He’s not ready to give it.   In Jesus' name, Amen!

Exposing The Lies Of The Enemy

I had asked Jef to water our bushes out front and give them a shot of Miracle Grow. The temperatures had reached the 100’s and I knew that the flowering plants would need a good drink to continue to push through the rest of the summer months.  When Jef came inside, he mentioned that one of our Juniper spiral trees was looking sick and that it had begun to put out brown acorn looking cocoons hanging from its branches.   He picked one up and squeezed a green soft gel out of it.  Yuk!   We didn't know what they were, but I began to research.   I found out the name of our trees and quickly saw pictures of the common diseases that they get.  When I saw a picture of it, I knew it was the right one.  Bagworms?!  They are worms that protect themselves by building these branchy leafy cocoons around their soft spider web like sack to grow in.   Little homes to live in so that no birds or gardeners will see them. They are so well camouflaged that they look like they’re part of the tree. They slowly eat the tree around them as they grow and mature.  It’s even hard to pull them from the branch.

By this time, they had done a good amount of damage to the tree.  It looked as if the tree had lost some of its fullness and had a lot of brown, dried out branches, making it look weak.  I rose early the next day on a mission to pick them off, put them in a plastic bag to contain them and suffocate them.  It made me so happy to do this, like the evil gardener killing the poor little bugs.  As I was picking them off the tree one at a time, I saw one worm that peeked out of its cocoon to see me.  I think he knew there was no chance and that they had been found. 

I could not stop thinking about the similarities in Satan and his lies and the Bagworms. Satan lies and hides so that it's hard for us to tell if it's us or a lie we believed.  Something we always had, were born with or was passed down in our family.  Yet it’s not us at all. The enemy mimics our old nature because our old nature is dead with Christ.  We believe the lies and think it's us when it has been him all along.   How many people have died because of these lies?   How many trees have died because the gardener did not care to find out what it was and thought his tree got sick but all along it’s the worm eating it away to its death. The Lord began to remind me of His Word and how it relates to this.

Hosea 4:6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. 

John 16:13 The Holy Spirit will lead you in to all truth. 

John 10:10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

When I looked at my tree's enemy I saw that it was a slow, harmless caterpillar looking worm.  I couldn't believe that this little bug had caused this kind of damage?  But it made me think of a scripture that I believe expresses our reaction when we see Satan.   We will point down to him in the same amazement and wonder how we let him get away with so much. You?! You did all of this?

Isaiah 14:16 Is this the man who shook the earth and made kingdoms tremble, the man who made the world a desert, who overthrew its cities and would not let his captives go home?

 I picked them off and suffocated them in the heat of a closed plastic.  They were forever cut off from anything that would enable them to live.  We sprayed the trees to kill anything that attracted these bugs.  The blood of Jesus covers us in the same way.   When we pray and His Holy Spirit leads us into all truth, we see where the enemy is.  Through intimacy with God we are to destroy the works of the devil.  He might have taken some territory and caused a lot of damage but the Lord says in His Word, Joel 2:25 I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, The crawling locust, The consuming locust, And the chewing locust .  

Thank you Jesus for Your love, Your Grace and Your mercy.   We depend on You to reveal the lies of the enemy and show us what is hidden and comfortable in darkness.   As You lead us in prayer and into all truth, we ask You to protect us and prevent the lies from spreading.   Come and be our Gardener, landscape us with Your Word, making salvation-gardens of our lives.  In Jesus' Name, AMEN!