The Rebuilding Process

Ephesians 2:22 And in him you are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by His Spirit.  

Perhaps you have felt like a broken down wall at times like me.  I have dealt with my share of powerlessness, insecurity, feeling voiceless, effects of numbing and rejection in my life.  These are like holes on the walls of my life that the enemy uses to re-injure when a situation or person comes close enough. The Lord has been so good to me and given me hope in His promises over the years that He is rebuilding me and putting my life together again on His solid foundation and framework to be able to receive more of Him and His blessings and they don't crush me.  Like the old wine skin that cannot hold the new wine or it will ruin or spill it. I believe He is patient in our growth process and Faithful to see us through being built up until the end of our days here on earth.  This process could take my entire life but I'm grateful it is in process and I love it when He shows me when a brick goes back into place.  This week I experienced a sense of victory that felt like another brick was laid, closing a gap that was bigger than I realized.
I found myself in a position where I was doing too much and it was not working well for me. I was starting to get tired and risking burn out.  The test was evident that I needed to use my voice to make a request to be able to focus the best of my energy and efforts.   I felt the grace over me to pass the test this time around, to do what I had not been able to do before.  The opportunity came and I did it! I made my requests to the people in charge confident, assertive, peaceful, without emotional strings and even felt peace if the test was just about using my voice without the desired results.  I was surprised at how I felt when I heard that my request was granted because I did not expect it.  Why not?  When I prayed about it, I found my broken down walls had created a pattern of thinking and believing lies that were part of my history. I did not expect to feel heard, valued, safe to use my voice and express a desire or a need which made me vulnerable.  When you have a history of numbing your feelings, you don't run the risk to feel and be aware of your needs.   I'm still taking off the false strong, self-sufficient patterns from my life, that made me feel resentful, powerless, voiceless, disappointed, angry and more.  When my request was granted I knew He was redeeming my history with loving footprints over my old bloody ones.  Today, I can sing a new song of victory, rejoice over His promises and see the Holy Spirit's rebuilding process in my life.

Exodus 33:14 MSG My Presence with go with you. I'll see the journey to end.  

Jeremiah 31:4  I will build you up again, and you Virgin Israel, will be rebuilt.  Again you will take up your timbrels and go out to dance with the joyful.  

Haggai 2:9 MSG  This Temple is going to end up far better than it started out, a glorious  finish, a place in which I will hand out wholeness and holiness.  Decree of God of the Angel-Armies.  

Prayer- 
Thank You Lord for Your promises to redeem me, restore my brokenness and giving me Your grace to receive more of You.  Thank You for showing me that You are not through with me yet and that You are Faithful to finish what You've started.  Amen!