The Rebuilding Process

Ephesians 2:22 And in him you are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by His Spirit.  

Perhaps you have felt like a broken down wall at times like me.  I have dealt with my share of powerlessness, insecurity, feeling voiceless, effects of numbing and rejection in my life.  These are like holes on the walls of my life that the enemy uses to re-injure when a situation or person comes close enough. The Lord has been so good to me and given me hope in His promises over the years that He is rebuilding me and putting my life together again on His solid foundation and framework to be able to receive more of Him and His blessings and they don't crush me.  Like the old wine skin that cannot hold the new wine or it will ruin or spill it. I believe He is patient in our growth process and Faithful to see us through being built up until the end of our days here on earth.  This process could take my entire life but I'm grateful it is in process and I love it when He shows me when a brick goes back into place.  This week I experienced a sense of victory that felt like another brick was laid, closing a gap that was bigger than I realized.
I found myself in a position where I was doing too much and it was not working well for me. I was starting to get tired and risking burn out.  The test was evident that I needed to use my voice to make a request to be able to focus the best of my energy and efforts.   I felt the grace over me to pass the test this time around, to do what I had not been able to do before.  The opportunity came and I did it! I made my requests to the people in charge confident, assertive, peaceful, without emotional strings and even felt peace if the test was just about using my voice without the desired results.  I was surprised at how I felt when I heard that my request was granted because I did not expect it.  Why not?  When I prayed about it, I found my broken down walls had created a pattern of thinking and believing lies that were part of my history. I did not expect to feel heard, valued, safe to use my voice and express a desire or a need which made me vulnerable.  When you have a history of numbing your feelings, you don't run the risk to feel and be aware of your needs.   I'm still taking off the false strong, self-sufficient patterns from my life, that made me feel resentful, powerless, voiceless, disappointed, angry and more.  When my request was granted I knew He was redeeming my history with loving footprints over my old bloody ones.  Today, I can sing a new song of victory, rejoice over His promises and see the Holy Spirit's rebuilding process in my life.

Exodus 33:14 MSG My Presence with go with you. I'll see the journey to end.  

Jeremiah 31:4  I will build you up again, and you Virgin Israel, will be rebuilt.  Again you will take up your timbrels and go out to dance with the joyful.  

Haggai 2:9 MSG  This Temple is going to end up far better than it started out, a glorious  finish, a place in which I will hand out wholeness and holiness.  Decree of God of the Angel-Armies.  

Prayer- 
Thank You Lord for Your promises to redeem me, restore my brokenness and giving me Your grace to receive more of You.  Thank You for showing me that You are not through with me yet and that You are Faithful to finish what You've started.  Amen!

Spreading Seeds

Song of Songs 4:16“Awake, O north wind,

 And come, south wind [blow softly upon my garden];

Make my garden breathe out fragrance, [for the one in whom my soul delights],

Let its spices flow forth.

Let my beloved come into his garden

And eat its choicest fruits.”

I love this picture of dandelions.  I like to pick them up and blow on them but I have to be mindful that it is seeds I am blowing all over my yard that will eventually grow into weeds. The stories that we as believers share of His love and faithfulness are as seeds in the soil of people's hearts. God loves to blow on them too.  His plan for the world to know Him is you and me and He called us to be witnesses.

Acts 1:8

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.

I've had the opportunity to go on a few mission trips all over the world and I do look forward to going on more in the future, but if we look closer this scripture reveals the order in the places it mentions.  Jerusalem represents our homes and witnessing to our very own relatives first. Judea is the next region or the surrounding places outside of our homes, like our jobs, places we shop or places we eat.  Samaria represents our enemies.  The difficult people we have a hard time liking. We all have those, right? And to the ends of the earth which is all over the world.  

No matter where we go, we need to remember that we are witnesses.  He did not ask us to be salesmen, lawyers or judges.  A witness tells his or her version of the story.  

Definition of Witness: One who can give a firsthand account of something seen, heard, or experienced.

The blind man said "He put mud on my eyes, and I washed and now I see."  He didn't add more to the story, just what he experienced.  Simple and clear.  This is so good because we try to make things difficult and we tend to overthink just telling the truth. All we need to do is give an answer to what you heard, saw or experienced.  

I remember the day I sat next to a woman on a plane back from Germany.  I was so tired and really looked forward to sleep but with only a few hours into the flight I knew the Lord had a purpose for me sitting next to her.  The way our conversation began and then continued was different and it was just a few hours later after I shared my story with her that we were praying together.   

Can we allow the Lord to blow on our testimonies? He knows where His sons and daughters are and He wants us to go and bring them home.  You may ask, "just by telling my story?" Yes, it's that simple.  Connecting with people right where they are is not complicated, especially when the Holy Spirit is in it guiding our steps and our hearts.  It's not everyone He is calling us to but know that when He does, you will know and be amazed at how simple sharing your faith is.

John 17:18 As you sent me into the world, I am sending them into the world.

You are a good good Father.  It's who You are.  I thank you for changing our lives forever and I thank you for Your Holy Spirit giving us the power to go out and be witnesses of Your love all over the world.  Give us the grace to respond to You when we enter those divine moments that can change people's lives forever.  In Jesus' Name, Amen!

The True Joy of LIfe is the Trip

Sunny with Pancreatitis?!



I've been in the hospital 3 different times for Pancreatitis since 2006. Doctors have not been able to find an explanation and have run every test imaginable, with no results.  There are no symptoms for this before or after.  On the last attack, they decided to remove my gallbladder even though it showed no sign of stones.  I got to hear a Dr. specialist tell me that if it was to happen again, at least we know it's not the gallbladder. Yep.  I had to hold back tears when he said this.   I've seen God's faithfulness during the difficult and through the unexplained and I can say with confidence that my Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals, has healed me.  We have learned to use our authority as believers and taken back what is rightfully ours in and through the blood of Jesus. 

Last week our precious 10yr old Sunnye, was not looking well.  She laid in her bed and would not move.  She stopped eating and Jef had to lift up her head to give her a drink of water.  We were concerned, and decided to take her to the Doctor.  He wasn't able to find any obvious reason, but decided to draw some blood and send it to the lab.  Her condition was the same since this started on Monday, and it was now Thursday afternoon when we finally got the lab results.  The Dr. said that it was Pancreatitis.  When I heard this, the scary movie theme song was loud on the background.  I honestly didn't know how to process this. 

The good news is that Sunnye finally began to recover by Friday, and by Saturday she was a 100% back to normal. 

I still didn't know if I should be mad or sad.  I could not explain what I was feeling and I needed the Lord's help in processing all of this.  When I don't know what to do, I will still praise Him and thank Him because it is important for me to find a point of praise no matter what.  To find something good rather than concentrate on what is so wrong and allow unbelief to creep in.  I sensed the Lord's peace as I was reminded of the story in Matthew chapter 8, about the healing of the two demon possessed men.  Jesus drove the demons out but they begged Him to send them to the pigs instead. 

I believe that the Lord protected me and that this thing had to ask for permission to go into our dog instead.  I praised and thanked the Lord for His goodness towards me and our precious Sunnye in her recovery.  He knew she would be fine and He gave us the wisdom in caring for her that week. 

I have a covenant of Peace with the Lord who healed me and this was a sign of His love and protection over me, and this is how I will see this.  The enemy would love for me to be intimidated and stay in confusion allowing fear to rule my mind but instead I choose to believe that the Lord is very present in my life and no weapon formed against me will prosper! Amen!

Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength! Nehemiah 8:10

Joy is not the absence of difficulties or trials.  It is the Presence of some One. 

Thank You Jesus that through You we are filled with inexplicable joy no matter what we go through! 

...you will rejoice and no one will take away your joy!  John 16:22

Where Two Ways Meet

Mark 11:1-4 KJV And when they came nigh to Jerusalem, unto Bethphage and Bethany, at the mount of Olives, he sendeth forth two of his disciples, And saith unto them, Go your way into the village over against you: and as soon as ye be entered into it, ye shall find a colt tied, whereon never man sat; loose him, and bring him. And if any man say unto you, Why do ye this? say ye that the Lord hath need of him; and straightway he will send him hither. And they went their way, and found the colt tied by the door in a place where two ways met; and they loose him.

I'm amazed that before Jesus goes to the cross, He knows that there's a donkey tied up in another village where two roads meet and He tells His disciples to go and loose him and bring him back to Him.  He knows the location and his condition.  He knew that this donkey had never been ridden before and had not lived to his full potential, yet Christ would think of him and call for him to carry the Lord Jesus into the city.  Tied up until the time had reached its fulfillment.

And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment.  Ephesians 1:9

Until the time comes, He is EL ROI, the One who sees me. Gen. 16:13.  The God who sees and knows that sometimes we feel like the tied up donkey that's waiting, that has not yet lived to its potential.  Tied up in the constant conflict between "what is" next to "what could be".  This place of conflict and tension is for many unbearable and it is where we face the temptation to turn off the image of the future and slide back into the "status quo".  If he knows the condition of this donkey, then I rest on the truth that He sees us and knows the reason we have felt like this when we are also deciding between two roads.  Maybe if he would have been loosed earlier, he would have taken the wrong road and would have missed his destiny.  I can relate to this and maybe you do too. 

We are all created with great purpose and chosen to carry the Lord inside each of us everywhere we go. There was a time that what drove me to different roads and making decisions was friends, the discount, more money, the status, the title or the badge.  The motives are different for all of us in the decisions that we make in life. 

I am thankful for a God that will wait, that He may be gracious to me, Is.30:18.  I am thankful for the desire in my heart to follow the way that leads to Him, trusting that He protected me from myself and protected my destiny when I have felt like I was tied up at times.  To be able to say like Moses if your Presence does not go with me, do not send me up from here Ex. 33:15 or have the desire to choose the best when the times have reached their fulfillment to move forward.

I believe the Lord to break the yoke off of our necks and to take us by the hand, just like this donkey, so we don't miss our moments.  I thank Him for the times that He didn't allow us to be loosed sooner but trust that when He looses us, we are ready!

Isaiah 30:21 Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying,“This is the way, walk in it,” Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left.

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

The movie was hard to watch but good.  I saw it totally different a few days after we saw it in the theatre.  I could see the hidden message through it and it came suddenly in my sleep. It was as if He was pulling the curtain back giving me fresh insight into what I could not naturally see before: 

"Come up higher My beloved. As you follow Me, you will conquer your fears and be able to go out with greater courage to reach new heights that will eventually lead you to discovering the key to your destination. You could settle and not go. Not conquer your fears and stay. But you would never find the hidden treasures and amazing victories I have in store for you. In the search, (in the journey) you have found some things that otherwise you would never know about people, places and about yourself. That you could do what you thought you couldn't do. You will also find that even though you think you're alone, I know where you are and I know the way that you take - in fact, I went before you and prepared the way. I know that some received you and some didn't. I also send you people to walk alongside you so that you are not alone, which also unlocks great treasure, if you really look and love them where they're at. I know you and I know how you think, so I knew which way you'd go. I know that you have faced many difficulties along the way but in the end I knew that you would seek Me and find Me. I died to set you free. I want you to know that I've always been extremely loud (not hard to hear) and incredibly close to you this whole time".

Song of Solomon 2:10; 1 Chronicles 28:20; Samuel 22:34; Zephaniah 1:12; Isaiah 45:3; Hebrews 13:5; Job 23:10; Mark 1:2; Matthew 10:40; Acts 13:2; Psalm 139:15-16; 2 Timothy 4:18; Jeremiah 29:13; Hebrews 9:15; John 10:27; John 14:26; Matthew 7:7

The Christmas Trees

Men are like trees planted by the rivers of water.  Green and fertile because of faith in Him, producing fresh and bountiful fruits in season.  Gifts that are well preserved. Never dropping a leaf and always in blossom. Fat and full, chewing on Scripture day and night.
God leads them from place to place in victory parade. Through them, he brings knowledge of Christ. Everywhere they go, people breathe in the exquisite, sweet fragrance. Because of Christ, they give off a sweet scent rising to God, which is recognized by those on the way of salvation.  Shining brighter in darkness, never hiding what they hear or how they live.  Each lit like a Christmas tree on a window, planted by God to display His glory.  Decorated with ornaments that are old.  The memories of who they were and where they came from. Sharing their stories.  The new ornaments embrace the new life they now live and speaking of hope for the future.  The stars a the top of each tree point the way to those that are looking for the One True King, born inside of them.  The angels join them in praise and worship all around.  Joy being fulfilled!


Revelation 2:7 (The Message)
Are your ears awake? Listen.  Listen to the Wind Words, the Spirit blowing through the Churches.  I'm about to call each conqueror to dinner.  I'm spreading a banquet of Tree-of-Life fruit, a supper plucked from God's orchard.


Mark 8:24, Psalm 1:2-39(MSG), Galatians 5:22(MSG), John 15:5-8; Song of Solomon 5:1, Song of Solomon 7:13(MSG), 2 Corinthians 2:14-16(MSG), Matthew 25:7, Luke 8:16, Isaiah 61:1, Matthew 2:2, John 17:13