Hope (Marriage Testimony)

After 7 or 8 years into our marriage, I had a hardened heart because of unfulfilled expectations and disappointments while facing new and difficult circumstances. It was like the perfect storm. I was dying inside, but no one knew. I had carried a lot of resentment and unforgiveness into our marriage from our dating years. Unprepared and desperate for change, I decided to do things my way and slowly began to plan my way out of it. I prayed often, as I always have, and attended church weekly and even served in children’s ministry. In this place of prayer I sought the Lord with many tears. But one night while praying on my bathroom floor I heard what I perceived as an audible voice that said to me “Are you going to go My way or are you going to go yours”? To my surprise, my tears dried up and I got scared. First: because I knew that I didn’t speak that to myself. Second: because I knew that He knew. Thirdly: His question clearly stated two different routes. I was shocked that He would not go with me; I knew that I needed Him to make it. For the first time that I can remember I feared the Lord which the Bible explains “is the beginning of wisdom” (Psalm 111:10). I made the decision to go His way, but the rest of me would have to catch up. My friend asked to meet me for coffee and offered me a book (The Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormie Omartian). I was not a reader at the time, but I told her that I would. As I read the introduction, I remember reading that “if you pray for your husband, you’re praying for you, because you’re one”. I knew that I needed a lot of prayer, so I just made a simple commitment to just read. At the end of each chapter was a prayer, and even though I “just read them,” God took those prayers and began to work in my heart and in our marriage. When I finished the book, I read it again and then ordered more of Stormie’s books. I began to learn His Word and how to pray His word over my husband, my life, my boys and my marriage. I began to know and believe that I would “see His goodness in the land of the living” (Psalm 27:13). I saw that I had a hope and a life flowing from within me that did not depend on any outside circumstances going “right” as I would define it. About 5 years later, at our new church, we had a team of people praying for us that had never met us before. As they read the words they had gotten from the Lord for us, they were being recorded on tapes so that we would have them. One of the ministers on the team was apologizing to us because when he was giving me my words on my tape he said that he had prayed for me, but Jef would come along, and then he tried to pray for Jef and I would come along. He could not separate us because we are intertwined with each other with the Lord as a “threefold cord that’s not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12). That was his word for the both of us on my tape. I believe that the Lord wanted me to know what He did for our marriage with a little bit of hope in my heart. He's the only One who can create such a masterpiece with just a willing heart.

We will be celebrating our 19th wedding anniversary this coming year 2011, and now we are happier than we ever thought possible.

Prayer
I thank You Lord that You give us beauty for ashes. You're the One able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think. We give You all the glory. In Jesus' name, Amen!

Psalm 27:13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.

Radio Testimony: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/coffee-and-the-word/2011/02/10/a-little-bit-of-hope-a-powerful-marriage-testimony?sms_ss=facebook&at_xt=4d53163092ae0858%2C0

Through Autism

Sometimes I think I could write a book on this subject and how this impacted our lives. But for now I want to share a list of some of the resources available to us in going through this developmental disorder that affected our youngest son, Sterling. We only did what we felt was best or were able to do at the time. There was a lot of resources available then and there’s even more available now. We believe every child is different and every situation is different.

Something that we believe is that God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20).   HE IS our SOURCE and no other could do what only HE CAN DO. He alone is God and there is no other.

Sterling was born in January of 1996. He was our second. Sterling developed beautifully and showed no signs of anything ever being wrong until after 15 months. One of the early signs was that he did not want me to rock him to sleep anymore. I still continued to try and he would let me. He did not want to talk very much except for baby talk and called everyone "daddy" even though he knew how to say mama. Our oldest son learned English and Spanish perfect. Sterling's delay was obvious to us and we began seeking help from our Doctors. No one really knew at the time and they would say that he was confused with two languages. The tantrums were constant because it was hard for him to communicate. He loved to line up his toys in a perfect line and if one fell over he would lose it. He learned the routes to different places and he just knew where we were going but if he didn't want to go there, he would start to scream and cry in the car and point to the right direction he wanted to go.  He craved structure and wanted to control his world around him. 

Right before he turned 2, we learned about Early Childhood Intervention. ECI focused on Sterling's strengths and encouraged our family to do the same to help in Sterling's progress. They worked with our family in making decisions about services that met Sterling's needs. I was involved in all assessments and intervention planning. All assessment and planning services were provided in our home at no cost.
http://www.mhmrtc.org/ECI/

At age 3, ECI turned us over to the school district, which was Birdville ISD, in North Richland Hills. They did an assessment from which we got the diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Disorder, not otherwise specified. PDD -NOS. This qualified us to enroll him in an early pre-school program at the elementary. He went 5 days a week for 1/2 a day. We also qualified to get in home training and we benefited from this as well.

We went to Florida twice for Secretin Therapy. After doing some research we found that there had been positive results of approximately 85% of the children. The other 15% showed little to no changes.

http://www.healing-arts.org/children/secretin.htm "The expectation is for social skills and interaction with other children and adults. Self stimulating behaviors decrease. Children with poor appetites seem to take on new food interests. Verbal skills improve. Bowel movements and potty training improve. Better eye contact and social awareness are reported." To this day we are not sure if this was helpful in any way.

We went to Cooks for Speech and Occupational therapies twice a week until he started first grade. Our health insurance covered a high percentage. By this time we had decided to only speak English to make things easier.

ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis) - I found out about a group of parents that had hired Dr. Vincent Carbone who worked with Autistic children both in the school and in home programs in Florida. He developed personal training paths for each of their kids. They had a local consultant to oversee the home programs weekly. The group flew him in every 2 months and updated the kid's programs as needed. They would hire college students to work with the kids and would pay them hourly.

This group of parents allowed me to come and watch their home sessions and shared their resources openly with me. www.autismspeaks.org/whattodo/what_is_aba.php

For our home program, I followed The Assesment of Basic Language and Learning Skills. It's a curriculum guide and skills tracking for children with Autism or other Developmental Disabilities, by James W. Partington, Ph.D. & Mark l. Sundberg, Ph.D.

Even though at this time we qualified for some financial help through MHMR towards some therapies, ABA was not covered at the time and was extremely expensive so I began to develop my own home program hiring college students from TCU. I would pay them between $8.00 to $10.00 an hour. We were able to use a lot of educational toys from the teacher's stores, and always rewarding positive behavior.  http://www.mhmrtc.org/

At age 4 we enrolled Sterling in the Miller Speech & Hearing Clinic in Fort Worth. The Miller Speech and Hearing Clinic is part of the program in communication sciences and disorders at Texas Christian University. Services are provided by undergraduate and graduate students working under the direction of the professional staff who are also faculty members in the academic program. The faculty are professionally certified by the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association and hold a valid Texas license. The academic program is accredited by the same professional organization. The clinic offers a wide variety of services to persons from Fort Worth and the surrounding area. This is where Sterling learned to read. He attended through the end of Kindergarten, twice a week for 1/2 a day and then I would take him to his normal school to finish out the day.
www.harriscollege.tcu.edu/142.htm

After Kindergarten we found a place in Dallas for ABA therapy and we only went during the summers for a few years. Behavioral Innovations, Inc. www.behavioral-innovations.com/ Billy and Carla Edwards.

We enrolled him in indoor swim lessons through the winter which was like therapy for him. He loved the water. In the summers we went to our friend's pools or to the water parks to practice.

We also enrolled him at the Little Gym where he was able to tumble and have fun following directions and interacting with other kids his age.

Sterling enjoyed horseback riding therapy at Rocky Top Ranch in Keller.
www.rockytoptherapy.org/

Sterling is now 15 years old and is in the 9th grade. The Keller school district has a special inclusion program that has been wonderful for him. He attends all regular classes and is an A student. He has friends and good social skills. Has a great sense of humor and loves to laugh. He enjoys history and learning about it. He plans to go to college and become a Teacher. For now at least.... to God be all the glory.

Our story is much more than I can put in a list of resources. I am available to speak to anyone who would like for me to share more or has any questions. Just send me an email with your information. marieburrough@gmail.com or feel free to leave a comment.

A Lily Among Thorns

I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys, like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens Song of Songs 2:1-2

I've been studying the Song of Solomon, the song of all songs, for some time now.  It has stirred my passion for God and inspired my gratitude for His relentless pursuit of me.  I have been awakened to the fact that God has been chasing me, wooing me and pursuing me with the same tenderness and zeal a young man has when trying to win the heart of the woman he loves. 

I've been praying and declaring from this word this past week and hope that you will also see yourself in it and pray along with me. 

Prayer

I am only a little lily of the valleys (that grows in deep and difficult places).  But You say, Like the lily among thorns, so are you, my love, among the daughters. 

I pray to rise above the thorns that surround me.  The anxieties, life's worries, the cares of the world, distractions of this age, pleasures of life, false glamour, the deceitfulness of riches and passionate desires for other things.  The things that were meant to choke me and suffocate me as I've been growing up in Your Word of truth.  The soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on Your head.  You took all of these for me on the cross and overcame so that I can rise unto You everyday and declare that in the midst of the thorns, You have the affections of my heart.  Therefore, my fruit, produced by Your word, the seed and my faith in good soil, will ripen and come to maturity and perfection.  I pray and declare that I will steadily bring forth fruit with patience, in Jesus' name! Amen!

Scripture References:
Song of Songs 2:1-2 (Amplified Version)
Luke 8:14-15
Luke 8:11

The Midnight Hour

It is always exciting when Jesus says to us, "Let us go over to the other side" (Mark 4:35).  To me it's like He's saying, "Come up higher or let's do a new thing, time for change or promotion".  You're excited to see what happens "on the other side" and can't wait to get there.  But in the "middle of the lake" you find yourself "straining at the oars", because the wind and the waves are against you.  The storm is like a hurricane and everything pointing to the fact that you are not going to make it to the other side and fear creeps in.  The disciples found themselves in a few of these tests and so do we.  We shouldn't be surprised when we are about to go higher, that we face a storm that we did not expect. 

The middle is often a place of testing.

I was searching for a specific scripture and was flipping through my Bible slowly trying to find it.  My eyes landed on one that was not the one I was looking for but I felt drawn to it.  I had not highlighted it or underlined it before but I saw it and took it for myself.  I remember praying to the Lord,  "I'm believing this is where I am today and will trust You for it in Jesus' name!"

I felt that I was in the middle of a test and needed desperately to see Him in His Word.  I was watching for Him.  So I had enough hope in my heart this day to take it by force. 

The Bible says that the "the kingdom of heaven suffers violence and the violent take it by force" (Matthew 11:12).  I felt afterwards that the Holy Spirit reminded me that this is what I did.

The scripture that I took by force was Deuteronomy 11:31  You are about to cross the Jordan to enter and take possession of the land the Lord your God is giving you. 

The wind and the waves I was facing sounded like threats that I had made no progress at all.  That my prayers had not moved any mountains and the times I launched in acts of faith were in vain.  In my dark hour I began to cry out, just like the disciples did.

"He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them". (Mark 6:47)

In Mark 6:48, the Bible says that "About the fourth watch of the night (between 3-6am) He came to them, walking on the lake".  To me this is equivalent to saying, He's walking on the very thing that threatened to take them down.  This situation is under His feet!  But then He does something that has always puzzled me.   "He was about to pass by them."  The Amplified version says that "He acted as if He meant to pass by them." 

Why pass by them Lord? 

I now believe that He wanted them to see Him in a whole new way.  Indeed!  "When they saw him walking on the lake, they thought he was a ghost." (Mark 6:49) but I trust that He wanted their faith to rise to a whole new level.  I also want to believe that they were watching and waiting for Him even in their struggle.  Wishing He was there to calm the storm like He had done just a few chapters back.   I think that with each test they progressively became more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding more strongly and clearly, His Presence and His rest. 

In searching for my one specific scripture, His Word in Deuteronomy 11:31 almost passed me by.  But I was watching and desperate to see Him in His Word for me.  I took hold of His Word with hope and boldness, His very Presence, and immediately I felt His rest.  I took heart!

He is the Word. 

"The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us" (John 1:14).

They cried out, because they all saw him and were terrified.  Immediately he spoke to them and said, "Take courage! It is I.  Don't be afraid."  then he climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down. (Mark 6:50).

I'm believing that He wants to take us to the other side.  I'm believing promotion is coming, or blessings are on their way.  We are going higher than we have gone.   He wants us to take His Word in to our hearts and to see Him in His promises and be able to say with confidence "this one's mine!"  As we do, we can trust He's in the boat with us and His Presence gives us rest.   I pray that we become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing.  Understanding Him more strongly and clearly, for we have found favor in His sight.  In Jesus' name, Amen!



It's Gonna Be All Right

I remember my Dad shared something that had happened to him but ministered to him greatly some years ago. Tivo was the big digital recording system. He had set it to record a Dallas Mavericks game but heard the outcome of the game before he could watch it. He was happy to hear that the Mavericks had won the basketball game but he was enjoying the season so much that he decided to sit down and watch it anyway. Through three quarters, the Dallas Mavericks trailed, seeming destined to lose. My Dad was frustrated and started to coach them from his living room. In the third quarter when the game was still in doubt, he too began to lose hope in what he thought he’d heard. It was not until the last minutes into the fourth-quarter that things began to turn around with a victorious ending.

The Lord used this to remind him that we too get caught up in the everyday issues of life and get frustrated because we doubt our victorious ending we read in His Word.

We've been Tivoed!

We can choose to trust Him as we walk through life believing in the middle of what seems like a losing game. Or we can choose to remember that we win and have peace as we trail through on our way to victory.

The Word says that “in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” Romans 8:37

In the book of Habakkuk, it says that Habakkuk began to call on God for help.  God answered him and said …”I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.” Habakkuk 1:5

This proves that we can know the outcome of a situation in advance and still not believe.

Once again, in 2Ki 7:16 (The Message), while there is a famine in the land of Samaria, Elisha the prophet says to the king "Listen! GOD's word! The famine's over. This time tomorrow food will be plentiful—a handful of meal for a shekel; two handfuls of grain for a shekel. The market at the city gate will be buzzing." But….The attendant on whom the king leaned for support said to the Holy Man, "You expect us to believe that? Trapdoors opening in the sky and food tumbling out?"
"You'll watch it with your own eyes," he said, "but you will not eat so much as a mouthful!"


(The next day) "Every word of the Holy Man to the king—"A handful of meal for a shekel, two handfuls of grain for a shekel this time tomorrow in the gate of Samaria," with the attendant's sarcastic reply to the Holy Man, "You expect us to believe that? Trapdoors opening in the sky and food tumbling out?" followed by the response, "You'll watch it with your own eyes, but you won't eat so much as a mouthful"—proved true. The final stroke came when the people trampled the man to death at the city gate"
(2 Ki 1:16-20)

Let's not get trampled!  We just have to trust that He knows the end from the beginning and there's protection in us not knowing all the details.  We could fall into unbelief and mess it up.

What if God interrupted your day to tell you that “It’s gonna be all right.” 

I believe that’s exactly what He wants to say to us today ☺

His Word says Ps34:19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the LORD delivers him out of them all.


Prayer
Lord I pray for an undivided heart that trusts in You no matter what.
Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ (1 Co 15:57) Amen!

Healer

Psalm 91:14-16
"Because he (she) loves Me", says the Lord, "I will rescue him (her);  I will protect him (her), for he (she) acknowledges My name.  He (she) will call upon Me, and I will answer him (her);  I will be with him (her) in trouble, I will deliver him (her) and honor him (her).  With long life will I satisfy him (her) and show him (her) My salvation.


On Christmas eve morning 2009, a year ago, I ended up in the hospital with a pancreatitis attack.  We drove to the hospital during a blizzard here in Texas.  What could have been the most beautiful white Christmas for us, became a nightmare.  In the midst of the pain and the horror that came with it, I felt His Peace with me the whole time and I was not scared.  We had peace in the middle of that storm.  I am thankful today for a wonderful and healthy Christmas eve, celebrating Him with my family.  I'm remembering His faithfulness to me.  He rescued me and protected me.  I called upon Him and He answered me.  He was with me in trouble and He delivered me and honored me.   I believe Him for a long life and thank Him for showing me His salvation. 
The few months after the attack,  I went through many tests to find out where this came from.  At the end, I received the "idiopathic report" from all the Doctors, saying "we don't know, you're healthy and we can't explain why this happened to you". 


I am thankful today for everyone that prayed for me and today my heart is full of joy, expecting as a child, believing in His promises and being able to declare His goodness even in the dark and scary places. 


Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me


Amen!!

Unfinished Masterpiece

He uses the dark and sad colors of our lives, representing the sin and times of self absorption.

The browns represent the dirt and the mud that once covered us.

He uses the bright and lively yellows representing the fun experiences of joy and laughter.

The greens represent success, fertility and times full of faith and life.

The blues are the clear, unclouded times in our skies, when there was clarity in our paths.

The pastels are ever representative of the times we did not have an assured view of our purpose in life.

The grays representing the confusion and gloomy days spent half-hearted, neither hot nor cold, but lukewarm.

The Pinks are the scars. 

Red is His favored color because it represents the blood of His One and only Son, Jesus. Because of His bloodshed for us, covering all our sin, there's a white colored pencil that He uses to finish His great and mighty work. 

Ephesians 2:10(NLT)
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago