Hope (Marriage Testimony)

After 7 or 8 years into our marriage, I had a hardened heart because of unfulfilled expectations and disappointments while facing new and difficult circumstances. It was like the perfect storm. I was dying inside, but no one knew. I had carried a lot of resentment and unforgiveness into our marriage from our dating years. Unprepared and desperate for change, I decided to do things my way and slowly began to plan my way out of it. I prayed often, as I always have, and attended church weekly and even served in children’s ministry. In this place of prayer I sought the Lord with many tears. But one night while praying on my bathroom floor I heard what I perceived as an audible voice that said to me “Are you going to go My way or are you going to go yours”? To my surprise, my tears dried up and I got scared. First: because I knew that I didn’t speak that to myself. Second: because I knew that He knew. Thirdly: His question clearly stated two different routes. I was shocked that He would not go with me; I knew that I needed Him to make it. For the first time that I can remember I feared the Lord which the Bible explains “is the beginning of wisdom” (Psalm 111:10). I made the decision to go His way, but the rest of me would have to catch up. My friend asked to meet me for coffee and offered me a book (The Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormie Omartian). I was not a reader at the time, but I told her that I would. As I read the introduction, I remember reading that “if you pray for your husband, you’re praying for you, because you’re one”. I knew that I needed a lot of prayer, so I just made a simple commitment to just read. At the end of each chapter was a prayer, and even though I “just read them,” God took those prayers and began to work in my heart and in our marriage. When I finished the book, I read it again and then ordered more of Stormie’s books. I began to learn His Word and how to pray His word over my husband, my life, my boys and my marriage. I began to know and believe that I would “see His goodness in the land of the living” (Psalm 27:13). I saw that I had a hope and a life flowing from within me that did not depend on any outside circumstances going “right” as I would define it. About 5 years later, at our new church, we had a team of people praying for us that had never met us before. As they read the words they had gotten from the Lord for us, they were being recorded on tapes so that we would have them. One of the ministers on the team was apologizing to us because when he was giving me my words on my tape he said that he had prayed for me, but Jef would come along, and then he tried to pray for Jef and I would come along. He could not separate us because we are intertwined with each other with the Lord as a “threefold cord that’s not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12). That was his word for the both of us on my tape. I believe that the Lord wanted me to know what He did for our marriage with a little bit of hope in my heart. He's the only One who can create such a masterpiece with just a willing heart.

We will be celebrating our 19th wedding anniversary this coming year 2011, and now we are happier than we ever thought possible.

Prayer
I thank You Lord that You give us beauty for ashes. You're the One able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think. We give You all the glory. In Jesus' name, Amen!

Psalm 27:13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.

Radio Testimony: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/coffee-and-the-word/2011/02/10/a-little-bit-of-hope-a-powerful-marriage-testimony?sms_ss=facebook&at_xt=4d53163092ae0858%2C0

Through Autism

Sometimes I think I could write a book on this subject and how this impacted our lives. But for now I want to share a list of some of the resources available to us in going through this developmental disorder that affected our youngest son, Sterling. We only did what we felt was best or were able to do at the time. There was a lot of resources available then and there’s even more available now. We believe every child is different and every situation is different.

Something that we believe is that God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20).   HE IS our SOURCE and no other could do what only HE CAN DO. He alone is God and there is no other.

Sterling was born in January of 1996. He was our second. Sterling developed beautifully and showed no signs of anything ever being wrong until after 15 months. One of the early signs was that he did not want me to rock him to sleep anymore. I still continued to try and he would let me. He did not want to talk very much except for baby talk and called everyone "daddy" even though he knew how to say mama. Our oldest son learned English and Spanish perfect. Sterling's delay was obvious to us and we began seeking help from our Doctors. No one really knew at the time and they would say that he was confused with two languages. The tantrums were constant because it was hard for him to communicate. He loved to line up his toys in a perfect line and if one fell over he would lose it. He learned the routes to different places and he just knew where we were going but if he didn't want to go there, he would start to scream and cry in the car and point to the right direction he wanted to go.  He craved structure and wanted to control his world around him. 

Right before he turned 2, we learned about Early Childhood Intervention. ECI focused on Sterling's strengths and encouraged our family to do the same to help in Sterling's progress. They worked with our family in making decisions about services that met Sterling's needs. I was involved in all assessments and intervention planning. All assessment and planning services were provided in our home at no cost.
http://www.mhmrtc.org/ECI/

At age 3, ECI turned us over to the school district, which was Birdville ISD, in North Richland Hills. They did an assessment from which we got the diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Disorder, not otherwise specified. PDD -NOS. This qualified us to enroll him in an early pre-school program at the elementary. He went 5 days a week for 1/2 a day. We also qualified to get in home training and we benefited from this as well.

We went to Florida twice for Secretin Therapy. After doing some research we found that there had been positive results of approximately 85% of the children. The other 15% showed little to no changes.

http://www.healing-arts.org/children/secretin.htm "The expectation is for social skills and interaction with other children and adults. Self stimulating behaviors decrease. Children with poor appetites seem to take on new food interests. Verbal skills improve. Bowel movements and potty training improve. Better eye contact and social awareness are reported." To this day we are not sure if this was helpful in any way.

We went to Cooks for Speech and Occupational therapies twice a week until he started first grade. Our health insurance covered a high percentage. By this time we had decided to only speak English to make things easier.

ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis) - I found out about a group of parents that had hired Dr. Vincent Carbone who worked with Autistic children both in the school and in home programs in Florida. He developed personal training paths for each of their kids. They had a local consultant to oversee the home programs weekly. The group flew him in every 2 months and updated the kid's programs as needed. They would hire college students to work with the kids and would pay them hourly.

This group of parents allowed me to come and watch their home sessions and shared their resources openly with me. www.autismspeaks.org/whattodo/what_is_aba.php

For our home program, I followed The Assesment of Basic Language and Learning Skills. It's a curriculum guide and skills tracking for children with Autism or other Developmental Disabilities, by James W. Partington, Ph.D. & Mark l. Sundberg, Ph.D.

Even though at this time we qualified for some financial help through MHMR towards some therapies, ABA was not covered at the time and was extremely expensive so I began to develop my own home program hiring college students from TCU. I would pay them between $8.00 to $10.00 an hour. We were able to use a lot of educational toys from the teacher's stores, and always rewarding positive behavior.  http://www.mhmrtc.org/

At age 4 we enrolled Sterling in the Miller Speech & Hearing Clinic in Fort Worth. The Miller Speech and Hearing Clinic is part of the program in communication sciences and disorders at Texas Christian University. Services are provided by undergraduate and graduate students working under the direction of the professional staff who are also faculty members in the academic program. The faculty are professionally certified by the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association and hold a valid Texas license. The academic program is accredited by the same professional organization. The clinic offers a wide variety of services to persons from Fort Worth and the surrounding area. This is where Sterling learned to read. He attended through the end of Kindergarten, twice a week for 1/2 a day and then I would take him to his normal school to finish out the day.
www.harriscollege.tcu.edu/142.htm

After Kindergarten we found a place in Dallas for ABA therapy and we only went during the summers for a few years. Behavioral Innovations, Inc. www.behavioral-innovations.com/ Billy and Carla Edwards.

We enrolled him in indoor swim lessons through the winter which was like therapy for him. He loved the water. In the summers we went to our friend's pools or to the water parks to practice.

We also enrolled him at the Little Gym where he was able to tumble and have fun following directions and interacting with other kids his age.

Sterling enjoyed horseback riding therapy at Rocky Top Ranch in Keller.
www.rockytoptherapy.org/

Sterling is now 15 years old and is in the 9th grade. The Keller school district has a special inclusion program that has been wonderful for him. He attends all regular classes and is an A student. He has friends and good social skills. Has a great sense of humor and loves to laugh. He enjoys history and learning about it. He plans to go to college and become a Teacher. For now at least.... to God be all the glory.

Our story is much more than I can put in a list of resources. I am available to speak to anyone who would like for me to share more or has any questions. Just send me an email with your information. marieburrough@gmail.com or feel free to leave a comment.